Hiei's World
by Idiom Laurels
Summary: Hiei finds himself suddenly on Sesame Street and meets up with a certain red-haired beauty. (Kurama x Hiei)
1. Hiei's World

A/N: Here's a fanfic for all the other deranged people at the "Hiei is Kurama's Bitch" guild, and for other crazy people, too. So yay! I'm fed up with attempting to write drama, so it's all romance/humour from now on, until I decide to stop—though I hope people aren't scared away by this fic…

I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or Sesame Street (though I wish I owned the latter, 'cause then I could stop the terrible mistake).

Summary: Hiei finds himself suddenly on Sesame Street and meets up with a certain red-haired beauty.

_**Hiei's World**_

Hiei looked around curiously at the unfamiliar surroundings. He hadn't a clue how he ended up in such a place, where the air smelled so fresh, and the parks always seemed to be filled with happy children. Hiei had been walking down a street which seemed to stretch on forever, and all along it, there wasn't sight nor sound of fighting, traffic, or the blabbering of humans. The youkai thought it strange, but somehow couldn't fear it at all. It was too happy to be suspicious. Though, he remembered, despite the surreal scenery, he was still, well, **lost**. Not that Hiei would ever outwardly admit to it.

Taking in a deep breath, and with noting the scents of flowers and old, rusty metal, Hiei started to wonder where exactly he was, and if he would be able to get back home before dark. His wife was sure to worry if he was gone anytime past seven O'clock. Not that he had a wife, of course, which may or may not have been the reason he wandered off so far in the first place.

Something within Hiei was changing for the worse. He was becoming dependant, reliant, and the most horrific of all: he was starting to need **people**. And as he knew full well, people who need people are the luckiest people in the world, but he still felt like crap, because nobody would want him, or embrace the fact that he _was _weak at times. And the only person Hiei could think of that might possibly have romantic interest in him was probably expecting him to be strong and gruff as he always was, not the pitifully frail sack of abandoned, wet kittens that the once strapping youkai was becoming so quickly. It was best that he left, he decided. It promised to be much less embarrassing than when Kurama inevitably found him out to be… _attached_, not that Kurama didn't already know on some mental, interconnected level.

Then at last, Hiei looked up from his shoes, which he'd been staring at for the duration of his self reassurance, if you could call it that, and what befell his large, red eyes relieved a lot of his cogitation.

"Sesame Street," Hiei read aloud to himself, gazing at the sign in subtle awe. So that's where he was.

* * *

Kurama swiftly licked the nub of his thumb before turning the page of his morning paper with a casual flick. It was an ordinary day, and all the usual things were going as they always did, with simply complex timely perfection. However, something seemed to be missing, and because of that, the morning was when stripped of all codes, the most boring sight one could ever see.

The redhead threw his paper on the table in front of him in a fit of annoyance, being quite careful to avoid crinkling or ripping the pages of the daily news' paper informant. He truly was upset over the missing piece of his daybreak. Sure, everything was very peaceful, but drab was nothing he particularly missed when his "_boyfriend_" was around. He enjoyed Hiei's constant mishaps and embarrassing collisions with random objects. It was cute, and he dearly wished Hiei was always with him to keep his poor self from falling off his rocker, or rather even getting into it. And thus the fantasy went. Kurama doubted Hiei was interested in that sort of thing. Even if Hiei hypothetically was attracted to Kurama and desired a romantic relationship with him, Hiei would probably be far too proud to admit that what he really needed was someone to hold him and to accept his unwillingly gentle side. Kurama sighed. At least he had a dream.

But it seemed to Kurama that Hiei and his slowly developing love-filled bond was just in Kurama's mind. For one, Hiei hadn't been around in days. The gap between the current moment and the last time the fox had a visit with his best friend had spanned exactly one week already, and Kurama was becoming worried, since before then Hiei had come every other day at the least. And secondly, even when Hiei was a regular visitor to the residing home of the former Youko Kurama, partly for legal reasons, the conversation wasn't exactly flowing, and they mostly just sat in awkward silence. Kurama was afraid that maybe his affections for the little demon had not only scared the dialogue out of their talks, but also scared away the one he wasn't talking to in the first place.

—A whole week…

Averting his glance to the television, he saw that a low-speed chase had developed, and it involved the man he heard recently escaped from prison and had gone missing for quite a while. How did they find him, anyway, Kurama wondered? Hmm… a low-speed chase after a man gone astray? That seemed like the perfect thing to spice up Kurama' morning.

* * *

Hiei had wandered far beyond the street sign, and into a quiet, quaint little town. It almost seemed like the town was a home, rather than many of them, Hiei observed, and the large park he had passed earlier was like its front yard. Despite Hiei's better judgment that screamed at him to get out of there and back to, well, a more familiar place to walk around lacking direction, the vertically challenged demon continued deeper down the street, until the distinctive sound of mystery hit his ears.

"Who's there?" Hiei called out loudly, after hearing what sounded like someone rummaging inside a trashcan. Hiei searched around until his eyes met with the single, shaking trashcan. Then, suddenly, a figured popped its head from within it—a very… odd-looking creature. It was green, scraggly (as one might expect something that came out of the trash to look like), and had an overall essence of, of… grouchy filth.

"What are you doing near my can?" the little green thing hollered back, looking aggravated.

"What are you doing _in _that can?" Hiei retorted hastily.

"I _live _here," the grouchy one said, in a stressed tone.

Hiei stared for a moment. An angry green guy just popped out of a trashcan and started yelling at him. That wasn't very normal.

This time listening to his reliable sense of decision, Hiei continued walking, quickly getting away from the disgruntled trash man.

'_That was weird'_, Hiei thought to himself, returning to his normal pace. Maybe this wasn't the ordinary, peaceful town he had believed it to be. And to confirm his last idea, Hiei then laid eyes on another abnormal creature.

"Hello!" it said in a high, cheery voice. "What's _your_ name?"

* * *

An old hat, a flashlight, and a small bag of homemade trail mix, was all that Kurama was prepared to set off with on his search for Hiei. He didn't actually believe Hiei had gone off as far as he actually did of course. Kurama figured Hiei was probably just hanging around in a park or something. Little did he know that Hiei was about to get involved in something so drastic as to stumbled upon Sesame Street and, dare to think it, make _friends _there… or worse.

* * *

A/N: Don't worry. There will be a chapter two (if anyone's actually read this)! Reviews are looked at with utter love! 


	2. It's a Small World

A/N: Just wanted to answer a quick question!

Lunarmercury: I'm very glad you like the story, and think it's funny. Funny's what it's all about! And the guild is on if you're interested.

Okay, now. Onto the story!

_**Hiei's World, Chapter 2:**_

_**It's a Small World**_

Hiei stood in awe of the creature before him. It was small, red, furry, and, dare he think it, _cute_. Unable to simply shrug off the little monster and be on his way, Hiei answered its question, with some hesitance, "Hiei."

"Hello _Hiei_," it said happily, smiling, "Elmo's very happy to meet you."

Hiei's initial thought: _what was an Elmo?_

"Elmo?" Hiei asked, somewhat curious.

The monster nodded. "Elmo wanted to know if Hiei would play a game with him."

Hiei's second initial thought: _was the red thing an Elmo?_

"What kind of game?" Hiei replied, as he mulled over the possibility that this creature might be able to direct him home. This Sesame Street place was starting to get strange.

"A counting game," the little red one vaguely explained, looking cheerful as ever.

Hiei's second second initial thought: _how many of these Elmos were around Sesame Street? And did he have to count them?_

"What do I have to do?" Hiei questioned, deciding to go along with the game until the time was right to ask about where he actually was, and how he could get back home.

"Elmo will teach you!"

* * *

"No! Officer, stop it!"

"Be quiet there, Judy. This criminal needs to be taught a lesson or TWO. By me!"

"But you're gonna hurt him, Officer!"

"That's the point! Be quiet there, Judy."

"You're _gonna hurt him_!"

"Judy's right!"

"Shut up, you! I'll deal with you later."

"You're gonna hurt him bad! Think of his mother, Officer!"

"Criminals don't have mothers you twit!"

"But I have a mother; dat must mean I'm no criminal."

"Just shut up, all of you!"

"But you're gonna HURT HIM!"

"Officer, may I ask exactly why I've been arrested?"

"What? Oh, go ahead, boy."

"…Um. Why have I been arrested?"

"I'm Officer to you!"

"Why have I been arrested _Officer_?"

"Because we found some pretty _incriminating _evidentiary evidence in the pocket of some evidences. And you know what we think of incriminating evidence, boy?"

"You're gonna hurt him!"

"WE THINK IT'S INCRIMINATING. What, you eccentric young people with your long hair and fancy flashlights, you should all be locked up! Give the babies to congress and let them raise all them babies to be congressmen, have them keep the young people in jail, behind bars!"

"You're rambling again, Officer…"

"Shut up, Judy."

Kurama hung his head in exasperation. The day had not gone as planned at all. What started off as harmless searching for his friend turned to chaos in little under four minutes. He had been just casually walking through the park, looking up at the trees, looking down at the flowers, then out of nowhere, about a dozen policemen jumped out from behind bushes and attacked the poor redhead. That was how he ended up in West Crimnators Prison for Boys and Dogs.

"What did you find that was so incriminating?" Kurama asked desperately, struggling against the cuffs on his wrists.

"SHUT UP WHILE I'M TALKING, BOY," the Officer yelled as he gave Kurama a sharp jab in the back with his unusually pointy walking stick.

"You're hurting him!" Judy cried, grabbing onto the Officer's shoulder, trying to shake some sanity back into his long gone senile brain.

"It seems my boys found some trail mix on you. Is it true that you were carrying trail mix?"

"Well, yes," Kurama said, rather confused.

"And isn't it true as well that 'trail mix' is composed of absolutely no TRAIL at all?" the Officer said accusingly as he began to pace about the room, tapping random wall corners with his valued stick.

"Of course it's true. No one would eat it if—"

"Silence whippersnapper! Or I'll throw you in the dog pen!"

"But I was only answering your question," Kurama snapped back at the cop, irritated and frustrated.

"No you was-**ain't**, BOY. You kept going even after you answered."

Kurama sighed.

"Hey, when are you going to get to me? I've been sittin' here for over twenty minutes and dis pretty boy just got here!" yelled a man that had been in the station long before Kurama, waiting patiently for the Officer to talk to him.

"You're in enough trouble already, deary," Judy whispered to the man, trying to calm him before the Officer erupted.

"Please, Officer, I haven't done anything wrong. I did have trail mix, but that isn't at all illegal," Kurama argued.

"HEY!" the Officer yelled, spinning around to face the redhead. "I'm the one who makes up the laws here! So you just shut up while Judy gets the scissors and the sewing machine."

"What? What are we gonna do, Officer?" Judy asked.

"Well, Judy, you know my lovely… _daughter _Judy?"

"Yeah. She's your oldest; the one you named after my father and me."

"Ahem, yes, your father. Well, I have decided that… Judy… is getting along in years. Why, before you know it… she'll be an old… woman with unusual patterned balding that is sure to make… her, how do I put this, a little undesirable."

"No, no! I think she's very attractive."

"Of course you do! That's your nature, WOMAN. But that's not entirely the point. This man here," the Officer said, poking at Kurama's shoulder with his stick, "is going to marry my… daughter later tonight. Sure, he's a prick, but he's the only boy I've come across that will be suited for the job."

Kurama's eyes widen in shock. The man was crazy.

"Don't tell me you planted policemen to arrested people you want to have date your daughter!" Kurama scolded, glaring up at the Officer who gave a slight nod. "This is ridiculous! I will not marry her!"

"Oh, come now, boy, I think you'll like Judy. She seems just your type," the other Judy urged, smiling sweetly down at Kurama.

"Indeed," the Officer added. "Now I'll call my… nephew… and invite him to the wedding."

* * *

"Six, seven, eight…"

"Very good!"

"…nine, ten, eleven…"

"Keep going!"

"…twelve, thirteen, fourteen…"

"One more!"

"Fifteen. Fifteen birds eating seed off my shoulders." And Hiei had no idea why he agreed to it.

"Good job, Hiei! You're a good counter," Elmo said cheerfully, aiming a look of approval at the bird-covered demon beside him on the park bench.

"Yeah," Hiei grunted. This had all been much stupider than he conceived. Elmo seemed to hold no consideration at all. He was just there, and happy about it. It was sort of eerie to Hiei. Though he wasn't much thinking about Elmo's character. He just wanted to get out of wherever he was. He wanted to get back home to his not-wife and roast chestnuts on an open fire. He wanted to go home. "Hey, Elmo, how do I get out of this place?"

"Out?" Elmo asked, looking confused. "Why did you come if you wanted to leave?"

Hiei thought for a moment.

"It was an accident."

"Oh," Elmo said. "Well, Elmo doesn't know how to get out of Sesame Street."

"Perfect," Hiei sighed sarcastically.


End file.
